Working Across The Aisle . . .

Interview after interview this past weekend mentioned Senator Kennedy’s willingness to reach across the aisle. Given equal attention was his ability to take the LONG view of things – how would a bill play out today and down through the years. He was often willing to concede on one issue if it meant getting a bill passed now which met the majority of his needs. Things could be fine-tuned down the line and often, over time, ideas and needs changed.

Senator Kennedy appeared to relish a spirited debate. But when the time for debate was over, he welcomed his adversaries with open arms. Unfortunately, society now appears to view such demeanor as “old-fashioned” and out-of-date. Many feel the concept of civility and good manners is nothing more than a thinly veiled demand for political correctness – something which angers them greatly.

One legislator mentioned that 30 years ago Congressional members socialized together in the evenings and on weekends. They built strong friendships that crossed party lines. He went on to say that in this day of fast travel, many legislators go home on the weekend and there no longer is the same level of camaraderie there once was.

How sad that it takes the death of one man to alert us to the passing of civility in the hallowed halls. And what lessons can we take from this realization?

One needn’t look far to see examples of this in our own communities. Lately we’ve watched town hall meetings dissolve into yelling matches nearly every evening on the news. What happened to the freedom of speech in America? Is freedom of speech limited to out-yelling your opponent? Or is freedom of speech allowing everyone a chance to voice an opinion?

How can we reach across the aisle if we consider everyone on the other side an enemy? Aren’t they just as concerned for the welfare of their families as are for ours? Aren’t we all citizens of the same country? Does the fact that they hold a different view on something make them wrong? Worse yet, does it make them evil?

Negotiation is the art of compromise. Sadly “compromise” has become a dirty word. People who compromise are accused of betraying their values – of selling out. Instead of viewing a compromise as inclusive, we’ve allowed it to become exclusive. Where civility and collaboration once brought us to a better decision, polarity has set us at each other’s throats. Where once everyone’s ideas and input produced momentum, fear and divisiveness now grinds us to a halt.

Lest we forget, democracy does not decree that everyone must agree with my opinion, or your opinion, or his opinion. Democracy decrees that everyone should have the ability to EXPRESS his or her opinion. In a democracy our rights prevail as long as they do not infringe upon the rights of others or do them harm.

Sadly politics is not the only place where these skills have suffered. Almost daily businesses are faced with decisions. These decisions often require facing someone across a conference room table. Will you view that person as the enemy or someone who can help get the job done? When the deal is made and you leave the table will you do so as enemies or with respect for the ideas you each brought to the process?

Maybe a fitting tribute to Senator Kennedy would be working a bit harder to reach across the aisle. Treating others as we wish to be treated is not being politically correct --- listening to someone else’s viewpoint is not selling out. The concept of compromise is as basic as parents teaching a toddler to share his toys. Throwing temper tantrums is no more appealing in an adult than it is in a child. Freedom of speech does not give us the right to silence others – merely to attempt to educate them as to our way of thinking. Unless we listen respectfully to the needs of others, we will never succeed. And in the end, helping someone get what THEY need usually gets us what WE need.

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K. Eckerle
Virtual Assistant/Paralegal/IndustryConsultant
Website: www.cardinalpointva.com
E-mail: assistant at cardinalpointva.com